Hacker Fashion Review

Hello there, fashionistas! APT Group Purple Aardvark recently gave us a sneak peek at its new summer line of hacker couture, and we’re honored to be among the first to review it!

Every collection can't be a major success, but this year’s line is a confection of zero-day goodness and on-trend aesthetics. And, for the first time, Purple Aardvark is pairing many of its new offerings with coordinated accessories.

We’ll start with a new, basic hoodie, rendered in a plush, super lightweight fleece for maximum comfort on cool summer evenings. Even though gray is the new black, this piece only comes in gray, which we think is a bit limiting. However, Purple Aardvark somewhat makes up for this failing by including classic hacking glasses and headphones—a stylish way to complete this ensemble. Basic is a good word for this piece, as it’s a bit of a grungy effort but still extremely functional and protective.

Newbs (those outside of cyberspace) always wonder why we hackers love our hoodies. It isn’t just for the warmth, you know. Real hackers prefer to dress like the patron saint, Robin Hood. The hoodie harkens back to this hero of the people who, like us, was branded a criminal by the corrupt government. We, of course, trade the forest green for the urban camouflage of neutrals and darks.

Of course, everyone knows using a hood to cover your head makes a hacker harder to identify in cyberspace (one can never be too careful), but a hood alone is often not enough. That’s where this new piece comes in. Indeed, face masks under hoodies are the epitome of unruffled nonchalance. The hacker’s face may be concealed, but the designer’s overarching vision, topped off by the beautiful tailoring and the meticulous execution, is most certainly not! We expect this design to be the talk of DEF CON 26!

This new design for the lady hacker includes some nuanced embellishment on the drawstrings and a roomy pocket sewn onto the lower front (not shown) that’s useful for storing USB keyloggers or a SouthOrd lock pick set. Purple Aardvark advances its vision of nouveau form and function by adding feminine features without too many frills.

Not every piece in a collection can be a winner, however. We really didn't know what to make of this piece, which pushes the boundary of edgy chic with its bold use of color. The haute-couture Aardvark refinement was not evident in this clunky update of a ninja face mask. We feel the purple color falls flat as it is entirely too self-referential. And the fingerless gloves are just taking it too far—especially for summer!

Lastly, we’re excited to report that Purple Aardvark is introducing its new junior line! Since hackers are getting younger and younger every day, why not? This hoodie features a vibrant duo-toned dark blue and is cleverly and appropriately stain-resistant! (We know more than a few adult hackers who could benefit from this feature.) In this kiddie version, they’ve forgone the classic drawstrings for a minimalist approach (as well as safety). Note the color-coordinated fake spectacles—perfect for completing the developing persona of a junior hacker with 20-20 vision.

Well, that’s a wrap, folks. We hoped you enjoyed this season’s review of Purple Aardvark’s summer line. We’re looking forward to some exciting new fall accessories we’ve heard rumors about…like a new twist on the classic Guy Fawkes mask and stylish but functional pocket protectors—of course, in the latest muted tones for fall.